“Everybody Sweeps”?

When I was young, I was invited to a philanthropic party at a mansion, with a glamorous host and hostess to match. As I snuck off to peek around the gorgeous home, I found a woman, nicely dressed, crouched down with a broom and dustpan cleaning up a kitchen mess. I assumed it was the housekeeper or caterer. As she stood up she said, “Hello, just sweeping up a little mess”. I quickly realized she was our hostess, she saw my curious look and said, well, you know, “everybody sweeps”. I’ve thought about that moment from time to time over the years and when I remember, I think, “You know what, everybody should sweep!”  We are all competent to “sweep” in the broadest sense of the term, but we don’t. We rely on a multitude of services providers and we outsource almost all of our “sweeping”. 

This is one reason that handling the repercussions of coronavirus and being home-bound seems so difficult. Gen X’s and Boomers grew up having to “sweep” more. We did a lot for ourselves. We cleaned up our own messes and few households had daily help. Most of us learned to grocery shop and cook under the apprenticeship of our elders, enjoying mostly homemade foods. The service industry as we know it today did not emerge until we were grown. Thus, we have a few more tools to help us “sweep”.  

Social media is full of “information”, but as we all sit at home and wonder what WE can do we all need to think about the future. This all happened fast! We need to get back to the basics of what makes American’s unique yet connected. We must get in touch with our shared humanity and community, we all need to learn to sweep for ourselves and others! We may not like doing everything ourselves, it is certainly easier to outsource our cleaning, cooking, laundry, gardening, child-care, schooling, personal beauty care, shopping or the myriad of other services we tap an app and have on demand. All of us must KNOW and learn how to do things ourselves so that times like these don’t seem so unmanageable. That staying at home, entertaining at home, home self-care and improvement are not as daunting as they seem. We want you to have confidence that you can do anything from sweeping to plumbing. It is possible and even preferable not to mention profitable!

We arguably founded SaySo, to keep the “sweeping” going in our own household with advice and family recipes for family and friends to access wherever they are. Over the next few days and weeks, I’m going to use my time, doing more postings to help my community “sweep”, so that we can all feel empowered today and going forward. We can all work together to become more self-sufficient, more empathetic, more altruistic and more American.   

We know that your inboxes and sites are full of information and missives and are glad that we all seem to be supporting one another. This article, https://drhyman.com/blog/2020/03/17/protect-yourself-from-covid-19/?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_campaign=b424a99fdd-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2018_03_29_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_07a277e311-b424a99fdd-124065441&mc_cid=b424a99fdd&mc_eid=21d6c0231f, and this podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/98-peter-attia-m-d-and-paul-grewal-m-d-coronavirus-covid-19-faq/id1400828889?i=1000468457729, are timely, thoughtful and comprehensive, showing how much YOU can do to protect yourself and loved ones.

See the site for all the comfort recipes, like banana bread, waffles, potato and bacon frittata, lemon poppy seed muffins, Mimi soup, chicken and noodles, pie, Florence’s Buttermilk Cake and tapioca pudding along with other favorites we are making for our group! Happy reading and sweeping!

How do I make Thanksgiving, Mom?

Ok Mademoiselle, you are on your own now and in LA! Time to bring our traditions to the Bay area!  You better have your Greenburg Turkey and Honey Baked Ham!  I  reposted the basics, so get busy!  Ha!



Mademoiselle’s charcuterie board (she’s very talented at this!)


Greenburg Smoked Turkey

Honey Baked Ham


Party Potatoes

Mimi’s Sweet Potato Casserole

Biscuit Cornbread Dressing w/Giblet Gravy

Green Beans with Bacon and Fried Shallots

Cranberry Sauce

Parker House Rolls


Pumpkin Pie

Pecan Pie

Cherry Pie

Whipped Cream

These recipes are tried and true and handed down and over by family and friends.  Happy Thanksgiving Y’all! Bon appetit!


In lieu of Mimi’s Advice – Here is another smart girl’s advice on patriotism!

Mimi has long been a fan of other writer’s editorials and opinions.  One such writer is columnist Peggy Noonan at the Wall Street Journal.  For America’s birthday, she wrote a great piece, The Why, How and What of America.   It is a worthy read and makes you proud of America.  We all need a reminder of our history and a boost to our patriotism!cool

Guess Who’s coming to Thanksgiving Dinner?


Q: I am invited to my boyfriend’s family’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. This will be the first time I have met them and I’m very nervous. Any do’s and don’ts?

Dear First Time Guest,

It speaks well of you and your boyfriend that he has invited you to an important “family meal”. We all try to be on our best behavior at Thanksgiving, so the normal rules simply magnify when you are invited to someone else’s home for the holidays. Here are Mimi’s top ten do’s and don’ts:


  • Do ask the hostess (via boyfriend) if there is anything you can contribute to the meal.
  • Do bring a gift (in addition to your meal contribution).
  • Do dress conservatively – no minis, no cleavage.
  • Do be on your best behavior.
  • Do offer to help with cooking, clean up, kid watching or other chores.


  • Don’t curse or bring up controversial subjects.
  • Don’t drink alcohol if you are under 21.
  • Don’t be mean to little children present – they will tell everyone.
  • Don’t forget to thank your host and hostess when you leave and send them a follow-up thank you note.
  • Don’t share a room with your BF, if you are staying overnight.

Follow these rules for a lifetime of complements and the constant reminder from his family that you were the best girl he ever brought home!


I agree with Mimi’s top ten. Follow these to success and a repeat invitation will be sure to follow. Is there anything more gratifying than your BF’s parents thinking you are awesome and raised well? I think not. So, I’ll follow-up by giving you my top things to do and bring to wow the folks!

Even if your hostess says no, bring a food item. Make something special you cherish at the holidays to share with your new friends. It can be as simple as picking up cheese and crackers or making cookies, but it shows you made an effort. If you are traveling on a plane, you can ship something, like a fabulous cake from Elegant Cakery or a Breakfast Kringle from our friends at O&H Bakery. If you need help, Mimi’s pecan pie or Mademoiselle’s cherry pie are always a winner. Bringing an extra gift like holiday napkins, a breakfast basket for the next morning, a holiday candle or even toys and games for the kids that will be present, always makes a great statement without a lot of investment. Dress conservatively and appropriately for all planned occasions, be tidy and offer to help…with anything!

This is the time when you will be judged, so put your manners in your purse or pocket and make a great first impression!



Calling All Gentlemen

We have been asked a lot of questions over the past few months of how we feel about #metoo.  There are so many conversations on the issue that challenge and unite us as women. However, we all must be careful that the pendulum does not sway too far to one side or the other. Obviously, being from two different generations we had two different perspectives, but we decided that rather than debate the issue (and to ward off further “Aziz Ansari” dates) we would extend some information for the men and our lives…

Mimi’s pick:  Peggy Noonan’s Wall Street Journal Opinion Editorial, America Needs More GentlemenMimi also add’s that the MDC remembered one of the best definitions of a gentleman from John Walter Wayland in 1889. He learned it in college, so  listen up young men…

The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.

– John Walter Wayland

Mademoiselle’s pick: Julia Reed’s, The High & Low:  How to be a Southern Gentleman, is a witty take on being a gentleman, summing it up as, “If you want the girl, study. When you utter some lines, mean them. Travel with a winch and a chain. Go after maimed dogs. Take the woman you are in front of very, very seriously”.



Tootsie Troubles?

As summer winds down and we look at our tired heat and sandal stressed feet, we wanted to remind you of our favorite find for tired, troubled tootsies. There is no right time for your feet to shed swaths of skin, but going into Fall weather where your feet are covered seems like the best time to do Baby Foot. That’s all that needs to be said and done for tired, callused feet that no “deluxe” pedicure can cure. Be forewarned, this process is easy, but gross. Did we say gross? Yes. Check out some of the comments and pictures on the internet so you are fully informed on what you are getting into. Several pieces of advice from experience:

  • Soak your feet before you do the peel
  • Leave the peel on a bit longer if your feet are overly callused
  • Don’t walk around while you are in the booties
  • Soak and highly scrub your feet each night once the peeling process begins
  • You may want to wear socks to contain the shedding once it begins
  • For us, we do it in September as we put our sandals away and then before Spring Break, so we are ready for the beach!

It is definitely an experience, but one that is totally worth it.


Q:  I did not get hired for a job because during the interview I looked down at my phone when a text vibrated, lit up the screen and I looked down to read it. It took less than a second to look, but it apparently cost me the job. Are employers in the stone age about tech use or did I violate a modern manners rule?

Dear Mannerless:

I’m sorry you lost the job, but in almost every circumstance, texting, emailing and tweeting show disrespect to those in your presence, as you generally owe them your undivided attention. This is particularly true in all professional situations: interviews, business meetings or conferences. Although Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt could never imagine how flexible and fluid etiquette has become to keep pace and evolve with technology and our culture. It is never appropriate to even have your phone visible during an interview.

-MIMI surprised

I am absolutely addicted to my phone but my darling, turn off your phone and shove it in your bag for an interview. So many times what we think is harmless can come across as immature and uncaring to an interviewer, especially those older than us. The Millennials and Baby Boomers have different expectations of acceptable behavior at work and in the office, but a general rule of thumb is NO PHONES!


Be Thankful

I have a “becauseisayso” for you this Thanksgiving. Please give thanks to the obvious in your life-family, friends, health and happiness. But, also take a minute to reflect and remind yourself how lucky you are to be an American. In such a time of social upheaval, we need to remind ourselves of this good fortune, hard fought by our ancestors and protected by our form of government. Many seem to have forgotten the concept of Democracy and what it really means – lest we forget the many protections afforded all Americans in the Constitution. America will always be a “melting pot” of people and ideas, a place safe to challenge all ideas and perspectives. Will there be challenges and setbacks? You bet. Victories? Yes. But I ask you, as an American, is there a “winning or losing” side? There shouldn’t be. I’ve lived through many  many leaders, my advice: Let’s all agree that we can disagree on a lot of issues, but not that we are not all proud of our American heritage and our future.


Sorority Rush 101 – Party On, Party Wear?

Rush 101

Q: I’m going through sorority recruitment and we’ve been told to dress “casual” on philanthropy day, “snappy casual” on house tour day and “cocktail” dress on preference day. I’m going crazy trying to decide on outfits and I’m puzzled about whether it really matters what I’m wearing. Can you give me an idea of what these fashion terms really mean and what to expect?

Dear Puzzled PNM:

Rush Rangers you made it through the Open Houses! Congratulations! You are 1/3 of the way through the process. Now it’s party on and on, with the important questions of what to wear each day to make a memorable impression. Mimi and Mademoiselle believe that what you wear is just as crucial as acquiring your recommendations. It’s not called “rush” for nothing, you have just enough time to bond with another girl and then you are rushed to the next house. So, a little planning and effort with your outfits can give you an edge. You must strive to look your best. The goal is to make a memorable impression on your potential sisters. If you followed the advice from our prior Rush 101 posts, you will plan these outfits out ahead of time. It’s a less is more approach with bright colors, simple patterns, classic accessories, stylish shoe choices, neutral make-up and a perfect manicure.  


Greek life prioritizes community service and each sorority will showcase their local and/or national philanthropy or community service works both on campus and in the community. For this day, dress is generally termed “casual”, but the term “snappy casual” does come up in a variety of questions. This is a good time to think about what philanthropies interest you and what philanthropic activities you participated in. The discussions will center around community service and be a bit longer than your open house days. You will be introduced to more members of the sorority. My suggestion for round two is to wear a casual top and skirt, simple dress (not too patterned) and flats or low sandals. Your attire and accessories should be slightly nicer than the last round. You’ll still be doing a lot of walking, so keep in mind those comfortable shoes!


This should be a Rush Ranger’s favorite day. The day you tour all the houses and see how the girls live. These parties are interesting, informative and allow you much more time for conversation. It’s a time for the sorority to show its individuality as well as you being able to get to know your hosts a bit better. This day is also casual, but snappy casual really means smart casual, not too dressy and generally means a dress with limited accessories with an emphasis on casual dresses, nicer shoes or heels and your accessories. I would definitely wear a dress this round, or a nice skirt and top. Dressy sandals or casual wedges are perfect for this round. 


This is generally only a day for two parties. This day is where you must focus on what you want out of a sorority. At this point, the sorority is interested in having you become a member. This is your dressiest day. We all know what we would wear to a wedding, so think wedding guest attire. This is the day you pay close attention, not only to the members of the house you are visiting but also the other rushees at the parties with you. These will be the girls in your pledge class. Keep it simple and classy. Mimi’s advice is if you’d wear it out to a bar, don’t wear it to rush. Mademoiselle’s advice is don’t dress too skimpy and don’t wear over a 3 1/2 to 4″ heel on preference day.


Mimi and Mademoisellein-love



Sorority Rush 101- Party When, Party Wear?

Rush 101

Q: I am going through fall rush and the information provided to us gives us a “party schedule” and a specific a dress code for each day of parties. Each day it is very specific and tells us that some days we will all dress alike with a t-shirt and jeans. I’m not sure what to expect and am worried how to distinguish myself on the days we all dress the same.

Dear Worried Rushee:

Mimi remembers a cocktail party discussion with an Army Ranger, who, while detailing his parachuting exploits, told her, “You can survive anything that has a defined end”. We believe this simple, yet serious, mantra clearly applies to rush week. You think you cannot survive the anxiety, physical and mental stress and judgment of this social rite of passage? Well, you can and you will! Rush is just that: a week or less of “intense” social scrutiny then it’s over. You can survive and thrive with a few simple tips from us. Think of it as Rush Ranger training…

Open House

The first day or two of most “rush weeks” across the country is termed “Open House”. It focuses on introducing each house on campus and on the importance of going Greek. These are quick rounds of parties, especially at schools where there are many sorority/fraternity chapters. Luckily, the open house parties are designed as a simple meet and greet, introducing the house and its members to make you feel as comfortable as possible. The houses generally pair you with either someone you know, someone that has been identified from your school or area or someone you have things in common with.

We know many schools have made these days “recruitment t-shirt days” with other restrictions on jewelry or accessories. So, you are right, there is little room for making an individual impression with your clothing. Again, you want any impression you make to be a good one, but always within the rules and boundaries set by panhellenic.

First, if it is an ugly t-shirt, wear it with pride. Do not embellish, tie, cut it off or tuck in its sleeves. Our suggestion, based upon when and where you have rush, is to wear jeans or shorts with a simple belt. No cargos or cut-offs. Wear solid or simple patterned shorts to match the t-shirt. Wear only blue or black jeans. For shoes, no flip-flops, heels, sequined flats or dress shoes. Think instead: fashion sneaker, ballet flat or espadrille. Accessories, think simple: simple necklace, casual bracelet, ear studs or simple hoops. Not Kendra Scott’s or chandeliers – save those for the dressier parties.

Be advised: Your first impression will be filled with loud chants, smiling fresh faces, loud strained conversations, lots of introductions and yes, some polite, yet awkward moments. It’s game on, so practice your good posture, eye contact and best and most confident responses to basic questions. Imagine carrying on a conversation at a loud party with conversations like you would have at your graduation party with your grandparents. For instance, “How was your summer?” Wow, its hot, how do you look so cool? Are you looking forward to your first semester? Do you know what you want to major in? Do you know so and so? So and so tells me you were a “fill in the blank” in high school, will you miss that? You get the picture. A series of questions in rapid succession intended to find a snippet of memorable information to evaluate you and describe you to the house after the party is over. You control this information, with your body language and what you say. Try to control nervous chatter and remember the 3B’s!

Open house will be over quickly and we promise you will survive, with only a few days of Ranger training left. Our next post will help you with your fashion choices on philanthropy, skit and preference day! Stay tuned little Rush Rangers!


Mimi and Mademoisellein-love