Lazy Lawyer

April 15th, 2015

Q: My husband and I have been married a little over a year. We are both attorneys with high pressure jobs. On the weekends, I just want to relax but my husband insists we do activities in our limited free time. He hates to be alone and loves to be busy! He only seems to relax when he’s playing sports, working in the yard or some other physical or ultra-hazardous activity. It is exhausting. He’s now proposed a “list” of joint weekend activities – tennis, golfing and even gardening and hobby farming are on the list! I love him dearly but he makes me feel lazy when I suggest just dinner and a movie. Any advice for this lazy lawyer?

Dear Lazy Lawyer:

You are not lazy, you just relax differently. This is a common Mars vs. Venus scenario. A wise woman once told her son, “Who cares what she does in her free-time, its her free-time.” I hope you have a wise mother-in-law, but if you do not, remind him it’s your free time and he is free to do what he wants in his free time, so should you. However, you might consider, it is not the activity he is after it is the togetherness. There are lots of ways to be together and not be riding horses, driving a tractor or playing a round of golf. You might be surprised if you just made a dinner together at home, orchestrated a home project, or ran your weekend errands together – that might satisfy some of the “need”. I’m not saying you may not have to go play golf, but if you, just take a Vanity Fair for reading and a cocktail for relaxing and sit back and watch your man “show off” his skills! I’m guessing he just wants to be with you and have your undivided attention rather than the exercise!

– MIMI

If you’re lazy, then I am a slug. I have a firm belief that people who nap less than twice a week are not to be trusted. It is very sweet of him to want to do joint activities, as he cares about you very much and wants you to share in his interests. It could be a lot worse. Honesty is the best policy, so just be completely straight with him and say, “Hey, buddy, it’s nap time.”

-MADEMOISELLE