Cohabitation Confused

Q: I am 25 and my boyfriend Brad and I have been together for a few years. Brad wants to take our relationship to the next level by living together. I’m in graduate school and don’t support myself and Brad is also an unemployed grad student. My parents do not share my enthusiasm about moving in together. They say they like Brad but they feel that it’s immature for us to make this commitment without any plans or talk of getting married. What’s your advice?

—Cohabitation Confused

Dear Cohabitation Confused:

Mimi only gives the cohabitation blessing if an engagement has occurred and the wedding is planned and a trip to the altar is imminent. In your case, neither of you are self-supporting so your parents wishes are worthy of your consideration. Don’t want to believe Mimi, check the facts. Research shows couples who live together before marriage have higher marital dissatisfaction and divorce rates; and more troubling, men and women seem to view moving in together a bit differently. Women see it as a “step” toward marriage, but men see it as a “test run”. If you are interested in marriage give this decision much thought, discussion and planning, but don’t do it for convenience or as a “test”. If you cannot resist the temptation, at the least be a smart girl… stay in school and don’t even think about joint bank accounts or investments until your married!


Let’s be honest, from my standpoint, Brad doesn’t sound like he has much going for him here. I don’t care if you’ve been together for two months or two years, if marriage is something you are after (especially with him), you may need to re-think, Plan Brad. Living together as broke students seems more economical and convenient than it does romantic. If it were me, and I was in a committed long relationship and there were no trips to or even talking about Tiffany’s…the end would be near. I know there are excuses for and exceptions to every situation with a guy, but I’m going with Beyonce… Brad…”If you like it then you should…put a ring on it”…or at least tell him to get a job and maybe you’ll think about it.


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